May 2013
When I die, I want someone to keep updating my...
sodamnrelatable:
People be like
“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”
“Send food”
“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”
“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”
“Omg, Satan is so funny!”
“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”
“Hitlers a badass!”
“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see...
unpoetically:
I LIKE PEOPLE WHO USE SMILEY FACES WHEN THEY TALK TO ME IT MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL IDK WHY
gru-ff:
you’ve become so damaged, that when someone wants to give you, what you deserve you have no idea, how to respond.
galaxys4:
hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are
fetusleader:
how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
cowboybeboop:
viste:
cowboybeboop:
reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it
IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST
only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
mormonvevo:
fuck you ↑ you ↖ you ↗ you ↙ you → you ↓ you ↩ you ↪ you ↬ you ↫ you ↪ you ↩ you ↲ you ↯ you ↱ you ↰ you ↷ you ↳ you ↶ you ↴ you ↵ and you ↺
daveakhiin:
heyitspj:
marymargee:
I JUST FOUND MY SEVENTH GRADE MATH TEACHER ON A GAY PORN WEBSITE
OH
MY
SWEET
JESUS
why were you on a gay porn website
for oatmeal recipes why the fuck do you think
whatsanialler:
how am i supposed to get a boyfriend i cant even get anons
shannananan:
mercimonamie:
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it. You have a threeway with Satan. You agree that all other mortals are no better than the mud caked to your collective shoes and sacrifice the whole of your school to the Dark Lord as per his request mid-coitus. You rule the charred and ruined remains of your homeland with an iron fist. Together
niggayougay:
MAN I WISH I WAS HOT ENOUGH TO MAKE SOMEONE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED
amoying:
the bags under my eyes are so heavy because they carry the weight of all my dead hopes and dreams
henryandhisbrain:
Dear Yahoo,
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
Regards
Tumblr Users
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
dylanobylan:
i’m glad we don’t have To hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
foodchewer:
*hides good snacks from family members*
the true fact of life
me: makes a mistake
me: thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years
dorfs:
Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
Me every night: I can have exactly 7 hours 23 minutes and 48 seconds of sleep if I fall asleep right now.
Plot Twist: All exams get cancelled because the government finally realise that they are actually just marking your memory and not your intelligence and teenagers should be experiencing life and having a good time instead of sit revising bullshit they're never going to need.
sluttyoliveoil:
before eating hot dogs make sure you have protection. use a condiment
Muggles are not able to REBLOG this.
the-nocturnal-fangirl:
iamsherlockedcumberbiatch:
helena-castor:
all the notes. holy crap.
at first the reblog button didn’t work for me, i was like FUCK FUCK FUCK but then it worked.lol.
It worked immediately. I’M HARRY FREAKIN POTTER!
Heheh<3
…looks like i got the magic in me. >:)
HA! FINALLY! after the 73902356504600th try! ;)
look @ me now.
fuck yeaahhhhh first...
